The term ‘life coach’ came into existence in the last decade when it became professionally recognised that having a mentor could more effectively bridge the gap between a persons present self-worth, achievements, and personal goals, and what they wanted to become in the future.

It was deduced that the expertise of a life coach in the form of empathy, understanding, support, and experience would greatly reduce the amount of time, money, energy required in this process of self transformation. Often repetitive, self-defeating, patterns would become a vicious circle making the ability to make these life changes seem inordinately difficult to break out of. The spin off from one to one life coaching is enhanced self-esteem, superior problem solving, greater personal reality and fulfilment, and the ability to achieve clients personal life goals.

To be able to live authentically as the life inside you longs to, and to be the best you can potentially be, is the purpose of the life coach initiative.

Life Coaching using CBT methods

CBT works by first assessing the areas of clients life they want to change. A problem list is drawn up with 5-6 problems they want to overcome with their life coach. A series of diagnostic tests are used to discover personality type (Myers-Briggs occupational test, Type A/B personality test, self esteem questionnaire). A stress map is used to discover anxiety/depression areas and clients internal and external stressors.

An individualised programme is developed collaborated between client/life coach covering the specific problem areas revealed by the diagnostic criteria, in the first session. Programmes can include:-

1. Stress reduction – physiology of stress. Identifying physiological arousal levels. Relaxation techniques, visualisation, breathing techniques, lifestyle issues (nutrition, exercise). Reducing by at least 25% the following variables:

• time urgency
• multi-tasking
• perfectionism
• irritability and hostility
• poor self-esteem
• left vs right brain activity
• achievement striving.

2. Increased self-worth using cognitive behavioural therapeutic techniques to challenge critical, punishing, guilt, and condemnatory thinking by learning to identify faulty thinking patterns and substituting more positive and balanced alternatives. This involves work at home to augment what is learned in the session These include bibliotherapy (reading materials, pleasure predicting activities, behavioural experiments, and a daily activity schedule recording thoughts, feelings and behaviours – and their CBT alternatives.

3. The third part of the life coach programme greatly reduces the possibility of relapse by looking at the deeper underlying core beliefs formed in the first fifteen years (“I’m never good enough”, “I’m a failure”, I’m not lovable” etc.) which act as absolutes or prejudices in the clients lives, and keep them from achieving their personal life goals. Core belief work modifies these deeply held beliefs using both Padesky and Greenbergers – Mind over Mood and Geoffrey Youngs Reinventing your Life techniques to achieve the long term objectives of the inner transformation of meaning and enhanced personal fulfilment.

The personal life coach approach has had an unprecedented success rate over the last decade and uses state of the art CBT techniques to achieve these goals.

There are four areas which clients come to a life coach to resolve:-

1. Personal – Parenting which gave lovability/worth mainly associated with achievement, produces low self esteem, fear of failure, and never feeling good enough.

2. Professional – The workplace environment gives low job satisfaction, no praise, approval, validation. Employees feel powerless to make decisions and have little responsibility. There is also either ambiguity of role or job insecurity.

3. Societal – A national character of self effacement and emotional inhibition where affection, praise, and demonstrations of affection are perceived as exhibitionistic and grandiose.

4. Cultural – Where stereotypes of body image in the media presenting virtual unattainable standards are used as the norm, and correlate with distorted values in beauty, success and popularity producing low self worth, inferiority, and distorted body image.

Why not contact us to discuss the next level of your dream, Our fees are very affordable starting at just £35.00 per hour with reductions for business and corporate customers.

Well sometimes in life things still surprise me, A pretty good life followed a poor childhood and separation of parents. Life was lonely the first time I walked alone in streets a far to find an income or maybe a future.

It seems so long ago since I took those first steps, and so much has happened. Good times and good memories, but also some dark times, alone and very little money to survive on. But we all have an inner sanctum that gives us the energy to turn the next corner, Is this just something we use when times are tough or could we find it when things are good. Maybe we could use the magic something to get to the next level, or maybe get that special something we all dream of.

I have had a few of those moments in recent weeks when you look back and remember the things in life we all put to one side, Friends, family, loves and maybe regrets……

A few weeks ago a very special friend came to spend the night with us, and wow we drunk,laughed and reminisced. it really felt good.Just last week my daughter came to stay, and whilst only Ten years old, she seems to grow more each time we see her. Maybe I will be lucky enough to see her grow into a lovely young woman with tale of her own to tell.

Life throws many things at us and it is our challenge to overcome these things, Man its been a tough few years, but that inner something has really done me proud. I sit and think every single day of my life.

What if, Why, If only, and all the other negative things that get in the way of our dreams and goals. Only yesterday I attended a business meeting and was asked “What is the biggest challenge I had faced in my life” mmmm that’s a tough one, so many to chose from……

But life is not about the challenges we have faced, it’s all about the challenges we are about to face. See the past is like a test run for us all, Trail runs even. The future is where we do it for real, No second chance.

After Eighteen years of marriage and a pretty messy divorce, This weekend I find myself at my second anniversary of a new relationship, with a woman that can only be described as my saviour, Who would have thought that someone so passionate and genuine would be interested in an old divorced bloke with far too much baggage. Well sometimes we forget to tell those close to us just what they mean to us, Tammy is my life and has been my guiding light though the past two years. We have laughed and cried and shared things that should only be kept for that special time in the future.

My son jack has been by my side over the last fifteen years and is my hero, he make me so proud and that’s something I don’t tell him enough, of course we argue and I tell him he’s wrong even when he’s not. He one day soon will grow into a man with dreams and aspirations of his own, and of course I will be his guiding light.

Well as we began, we shall end.

Sometimes when we have no where else to go, no one else to turn too, remember it’s all just a trial run. It really doesn’t matter how we performed, just as long as we can hold our heads high and say we gave 100% and know how to overcome any challenge we have next time.

Kickz Awards showcases community heroes from the

country’s most deprived areas

I was reading an article earlier this week and then saw a great television show to promote the young guy’s in London.

My question is why do we not have the sense to put this into practice in other areas, or if in fact we do. Then why are we not singing about our achievements……

Please take the time to read this article…

The high profile awards were held at Wembley Stadium in front of key figures from the world of football, music and politics, such as Tottenham Hotspur’s Tom Huddlestone, music act Kid British, Minister for Sport Gerry Sutcliffe MP and Schools Minister Vernon Coaker MP.

Countering negative stereotypes, the event showcased the most inspiring young individuals that have made a difference to their community as part of the Kickz programme. Kickz has over 30,000 registered participants aged 12-18 living in tough areas, with high rates of anti-social behavior. 39 professional football clubs from the Premier League and Football League are delivering 110 projects in partnership with the Police and local authorities across the country.

Kickz uses the power of football to ‘build safer, stronger, more respectful communities through the development of young people’s potential’. A variety of activities, including football, other sports, music, arts and developmental workshops on issues ranging from healthy lifestyles to the dangers of carrying weapons, are delivered three nights a week, all year round.

Kickz projects have contributed to drops in anti-social behavior of up to 60% and helped equip the next generation with key employable skills which they otherwise would not have had. Kickz is so effective because it uses the power of professional football clubs’ brands and because the sessions take place in the estates themselves and at the times when there is effectively no provision for young people. 91% of Kickz projects include activities on a Friday or Saturday night, whereas just 4% of local authority provision for young people takes place on a Friday or Saturday night (and less than 1% on a Saturday night).

The awards, organised by the Football Foundation, Metropolitan Police and Premier League, also recognised the strong national and local partnerships that lie behind Kickz. Particular appreciation was given to those who do an exceptional job in mentoring and inspiring young people, embedding their project in challenging communities.

Kickz Club Achievement Award: Arsenal in the Community and Tottenham Hotspur Foundation were singled out for special praise, with Sunderland AFC Foundation running out overall winners. Sunderland’s sessions were targeted in areas which suffered from high levels of crime, drug-use, teenage pregnancy and incidents of youth-related disorder and antisocial behavior. Sunderland’s two Kickz projects have positively engaged 1,228 young people with 142 going into education, employment or other training. The community has benefited as there has been a reduction in antisocial behavior of 49% in the Seaburn area and 26% in Chester-le-Street. In Chester-le-Street a former derelict shop has even been turned into a state of the art Kickz branded learning centre for young people to enhance their employment opportunities and seek healthy lifestyle advice.

Kickz Outstanding Police Contribution Award for London: Safer neighbourhood police staff are a very positive force behind schemes and the nominations for this category ranged from PCSO’s who have attended sessions on a regular basis and built excellent relationships with participants, to senior officers who have driven the development of projects behind the scenes, securing substantial amounts of funding to keep projects going. From the Metropolitan Police, Inspector Penny Mills and PCSO Harmeet Ghataore were singled out for their work with Chelsea and Brentford respectively. Outside of London, Inspector Stephen Hutchings from Hampshire Police and PCSO Amy Fleetham were honored for their work with Portsmouth and Sunderland.

Kickz Outstanding Personal Achievement Award: This category’s awards were won by George King (Millwall Kickz), 16, from Sydenham and Stephanie North, 17, from Openshaw (Manchester City Kickz). After being asked to ‘take early study leave’ by his school as he seemed to have ‘given up’, George turned his life around through Kickz, achieving the FA Level 1 coaching badge, NVQ Level 2 course in Activity Leadership and volunteering 12 hours a week throughout the summer to help on Millwall’s Disability Programme. He has gone onto become a very promising sports coach and role model to other young people.

Kickz was born out of discussions between the Metropolitan Police and Premier League who, along with the Football Foundation, are the primary national partners. The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) are also involved in order to represent the interests of other constabularies around the country. 17 other forces are involved in the programme nationally.

Other partners who have made significant contributions to the development of the Kickz programme in funding and/or expertise in their respective specialist areas, include the Department for Culture Media and Sport (DCMS), v (The national youth volunteering also charity), the Brit Trust , the Home Office, The FA and the Football League Trust. Formal links have also developed with Nike and the Greater London Authority (GLA), and Kickz is also an official charity partner of Wembley Stadium.

Minister for Sport Gerry Sutcliffe said: “Kickz is a fantastic success story. It shows the power that football has to connect with young people and has helped improve the lives of thousands, building stronger communities in some of the country’s most deprived areas.

“As well as giving young people opportunities to play sport, Kickz has helped them realise their potential in other fields, such as music and the arts.

“The Kickz Awards are a great celebration of these many successes. I congratulate all the winners and nominees and wish them all the best for the future.”

Schools Minister Vernon Coaker said: “Kickz is a shining example of how sports like football can be extremely effective in engaging young people and giving them opportunities to develop.

“It’s great to see young people around the country making positive contributions to their communities. It just goes to show how most young people are on the right track and can shine when given the opportunity.

“The winners are an encouraging example to others to follow and everyone on the ground making Kickz a success should be congratulated.”

Networking

One day a long time ago, A wise man told me That networking was the way forward……

Well years on we at Rainbows and Dreams run many networking sessions for many types of groups, Business start up’s, Long term Unemployed, Single parents as well as self esteem and motivation . All of the session we run are structured and sometimes spark that special flame that helps you to move forward.

What is Networking

Networking definition – business

• —  Meeting and interacting with individuals who have similar interests in an effort to build relationships that will produce     current and future benefits.
• —  Connecting two or more computers in order to share resources, including applications, databases, and hardware.

Well think back, have you ever been helped by networking, or did you even realise you were being helped…

Ben & Jerry’s World famous ice cream

—  1966, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield became friend through their love of food.

—  1978, Armed with $5 correspondence course in Ice cream making, opened there first scoop shop in Vermont.

—  1987, Annual sales exceeded $47 million.

—  2007, Ben & Jerry join Unilever with a turnover of $40.5 Billion dollars

Look how it developed Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfields business, have you ever thought how Networking could help your business.

What if you’re an individual who has no business connections, again many people have been helped in the past

Adam & Eve

Anthony & Cleopatra

One couple who may have led to the existence of us all, to another who led to some of the greatest things we have today.

Let me take a break in this blog to thank the many of you who have sent emails to us, this in itself is networking and the way we survive as a business, We all help each other every day of our lives, across the world. But please take one day to sit and think if you could give an extra 10% to add value to someone else’s life or business, Maybe it’s a work colleague or a neighbour.

Well in return to the advice we give, we would like to ask for some feedback from all of you, if you had the opportunity to ask for help

What would it be

Would you be alone or in a group

Would you be willing to pay

Would you accept the advice given

Once again thank you all for your continued support in making Rainbows and Dreams a leading website in your Google favourites.

Sunday 14^th March, Yes my friends a day they call Mothers Day or Mothering Sunday. Today is one of those days, that no matter how hard you are or invincible you think you are it’s a day that often brings tears to your eyes. Mothers everywhere receive flowers, chocolates and cards that tell them just how much we love them. Children spend hours making hand crafted cards in school or nursery, Sons and Daughters wonder around shops in amaze looking at many cards and choose the one that describes their special mum best. As I sit here tonight and write this blog, my own mother is about 150 miles away, and I’m sure that the early morning call she received from me earlier today made her shed tears as it did with me.

It been a few years now since I lived at home, but I guess wherever you are those special people in our lives are never forgotten, The special people who no matter how bad it gets always seem to know the right answer.

I wanted to share a story with you, and I hope that one day the many people concerned get to read it. Just about a year ago I was teaching in a mixed ability class of 25 to 40 year olds, and I asked the question   “Jump forward a year, what is your life like”. The room went silent for a moment and a few started to write notes, One young guy spoke and asked if it was ok to write down what he was going to do in the last year, instead of where he wanted to be, Of course I said to him. A little while later we discussed what the students had written on their papers, Damon the man I spoke to earlier revealed what was on his sheet, Just two weeks after he left my class he was due to be sentenced to 5 years in Prison for a drugs offence, he had let us into a very private part of his life. The one thing that Damon was going to do was to make sure his mother had a visiting order for mothering Sunday and Christmas day, he had actually been in prison the previous two years and wrapped up in a life of drugs and crime, Damon had forgot the most important person in his life, the one person who stood by him through thick and thin, good times and dark times.

I too have been one of those people who have forgotten the one person who will never judge or walk away, it’s been many years since we laughed and cried together. I miss the closeness that was always at my side, the times when we needed some advice. Now life moves on and priorities change we all move on and days go by.

Please remember to never forget the ones that brought you into this world, in life we have very few second chances and for those of us who wish things had been a little different the first time around, remember that when they go to a better life somewhere bright and sunny, they will not forget us and we must not forget them.

To all the sons and daughters out there, make that call, write that letter, and if you’re lucky enough, the next time you see her give her a big hug and share that moment once again.

To all the Mums out there on this very special day, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, every day we will remember to say we love you…………

Dedicated to my Mum (Mary Steel), Thanks for bringing the sunshine to the end of my rainbow xxx

“Try and try again” that’s what I was told many years ago. Well today I wonder if this is good advice, if we try once and fail then is it right we try again, well I guess if we don’t try some of the things we have never done before, then we will never know. Some great believers say you should try doing something that scares you every day, it keeps us alive. Do you ever come home from work or school and think it was the worst day or week of your life, can it get any worse. Some people like me are leaders and simply can’t follow, maybe control freaks or maybe people who like to have a plan. When we do things for someone else it makes us feel proud and pleased to help, some might ask why we do these things, and we could answer, because we want recognition or maybe self fulfilment. But how do we react when it goes wrong, should we walk away or should we stand proud and believe it what we have done. In life we rarely get the glory we deserve and one day we hope that someone will recognise our achievements; I strongly believe that everyone should stand proud for the reason behind the things we do. But is this really the way forward…………….is it self fulfilment or are we being stubborn and looking through blinkers.

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

Golda Meir

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• Understand and reduce stress and conflict
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• Improve people’s effectiveness, productivity and thereby profitability

Sometimes i sit and wonder if the things we do actually matter….. do we listen to others, do we change things for better or worse. If we could find that magic ingredient then the whole world would seem a better place. In many aspects of my work I come across people who have really hit the bottom of the ladder and misfortune really has been their best friend. If  I could change one thing in their lives, one thing that makes them smile, some of us thrive on excitement and the chase of self fulfilment, and some never have the chance to chase their dream. What could I do to make that person smile again, maybe just for a while or the next time they look in the mirror. Sometimes i ask clients to write five really great things in their lives and follow it up by asking to write ten really rubbish things…..Hey would you be surprised if  I told you that most of the time we don’t get to ten rubbish things.

Yes just  imagine how bad things could be, drugs, homelessness, criminal records and family problems. Somehow when we think back, we always find away to smile again.

On Tuesday evening I spent one of those quality nights at the local cinema with a great partner and a sometimes wonderful son, the film was to be honest a bit of a boys flick. Well that’s what i thought on booking the tickets, WOW how I was wrong “Invictus” a film about the great Nelson Mandela, in his first term as the South African President, initiates a unique venture to unite the apartheid-torn land and enlist the national rugby team on a mission to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup. He talked about a poem he read in Robin Island the poem was from THEODORE ROOSEVELT and his speech.

“The man in the arena”

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Wow this is one of those rare time I find myself speechless, and would ask you to do the same and savour in those humbling words.

Opportunities, passion, fresh starts……Sometimes things happen in you life that are not expected, sometimes you grab hold and accept these things, sometimes we let them slip through our hands. People come and go, Friends come and go. Some say keep your enemy’s, some say your wife or partner should be your best friend.

The years have gone bye and i would love to say i have taken every thing that life could throw, but im sitting in a chair thinking life has more to throw, maybe i will catch another chance to shine, maybe another unexpected curve ball will creep up.

Should we spend time worrying about the things we have no control over, or should we live every day as if it was our last.

I had chosen a path to follow, and sometimes i expect to take different routes to the future.will i be joined will i be alone. I guess sometimes we all need someone to hold our hand and share all those pleasures in life, will we chose the first person in our life will we chose the second……….maybe we will continue our journey on our own.

Whilst reading this you will find lots of things in common with the things i write, but how did you deal with the journey, or in fact how do you intend to deal with it.

“Life is for living and enjoying”…..God i hate curved balls..

Men and women tend to have different value systems. This is illustrated in the Mars/Venus concept that has been popular in the last decade. It is true that the sexes differ on important value concepts.

WHAT DO YOU VALUE?

Because values are shaped so early in life they remain largely unconscious. We rarely stop to think consciously and deliberately about what our values are—we just act on them. To remind you of what’s really important to you, try the following exercise:

Create a time and place where you can be left undisturbed. Now…close your eyes and imagine that you are on your deathbed with family and friends gathered around you.

Think about your life seeing you and others through the various stages. Ask yourself:

What do I wish I had spent more time doing?

What am I proudest of in my life?

What times of my life were the happiest and why?

What has made my life worthwhile?

What am I leaving as a legacy?

The answers to these questions reflect what you value most and reveal whether you’re living out your values.

If you see things that you regret, examine these more closely and find out what values you betrayed.

You may experience strong feelings as you responded to these questions. If you did, a professional counselor may be able to help you to understand these feelings and the messages they hold for you. A good counselor will not try to tell you what to believe but will help you clarify what’s important to you. If you are not sure what you believe you are more easily influenced. Your choices will reflect the here and now, not be guided by internal standards of right and wrong.

If you don’t know what you stand for, you’ll fall for anything.

TEACHING CHILDREN VALUES

Parents are the important influence on a child’s moral development. Other factors include teachers, peer, religion and in today’s world the media. Studies show that parents who communicate family rules and values clearly to their children and enforce the rules consistently have children with the highest sense of social responsibility.

These parents..

• CONFRONT children when they behave in ways that may be harmful to others
• Are DIRECT and HONEST about rules and values
• Stress the importance of OBEDIENCE TO AUTHORITY
• Are CONSISTENT in enforcing the rules
• DEMONSTRATE by their own behavior their commitment to the rules and values they want their children to observe.

So to raise responsible children who respect others’ rights as well as their own, parents must be models of what they want from their children,being fair honest and caring in all dealings with others. Parents need to be able to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them. One important factor often omitted is that parents need to discuss values with their children. News stories can be an opportunity to discuss the values involved and provide advice and direction on how such situations should be managed.